Fall

I love fall.
It is my favorite time of year.
It is the time of harvest, a time when it seems to me you can really feel the fullness of the year.
Apples, pumpkins, wheat, it is a time of bounty
The crispness of a ripe apple straight from the tree.
The smell of freshly mown grain fields.
The sight of a field of cornstalks waving in the wind.
The weather becoming cooler, a little bbbrrrrr in the air.
A skirl of wind briefly circling some fallen leaves.
The colors taking on a deepness, a richness. Oranges, yellows, browns, golds, russets, coppers.
The held breath of summer slowly being released into the relaxed exhale ending in the breathless slumber of winter.
That little bite in the air seems to bring with it a final flurried burst of energy.
Fall is not so much a coming to an end but a huge celebration of the bountiful life coming to fruition all around.
It is a one last look around before bed. Storing away the signs of life, the warmth that is ending, the colors giving away to the black and white of winter, the softness giving way to the glitter sharp edge marking the season of slumber.
Aaahh, fall, with your indian summer temperatures or your edge of blessed coolness. The rich bounty. The sunset of colors.
Fall.

Things to be grateful for

My Health
My Daughter
My Family
A Place to Live
A Chance to go Back to School

That cute 12yo boy who delivered his brother and knew what to do from tv, movies and medical books. I mean come on, how cool is that?

The internet is an amazing wonderland full of treasures. I learned how to do a waterfall braid. Fashion tips, style suggestions, diy projects. The amount of free information available at your fingertips is amazing. I love all this flow of information. And all the ideas that are out there are...ok some of them are out there out there...but that's ok. That's what makes the internet awesome, inspirational and a total trip.
I love being able to share cute kitty and adorable puppy videos. Awww inspiring photos of children.

I am so greatful to live in this time, in this country. I wish that I could make it all better for everyone. And let everyone feel the same blessing I feel in my life.

Craig Ferguson

I always feel a bit stalker-ish when I talk about Craig Ferguson.
I'm not quite sure why I've developed such a crush on him.
He has this mixture of confidence and self-effacement that just draws me in. He has this ability to make fun of himself and poke fun of others without being mean. He is like a little boy who knows that he has gotten away with something because he's adorable. That grin that he gives you through the camera just seems to invite you to take part in the fun. I think that is the largest part of it. His ability to make one feel that he is speaking directly to you and beckoning you specifically to join him in some hijinks.
My daughter tells me I'm too old to have a crush on an actor. In a way I agree. But for Craig Ferguson I just can't seem to help myself. I do understand that the person I am crushing on is a facade, a public persona but that is the genius of Craig. You don't care that it's mostly a facade. He makes you want to believe in the facade. And i can't help thinking, especially since reading his book, that to an extent that persona is Craig. Certainly not the whole of Craig Ferguson but still a real part of him.
And that, I am going to have to say, is the best reason for my crush on Craig Ferguson. That he is, to an extent, exactly what he portrays. His enthusiasm for America, his optimism, his humor and his willingness to share true parts of himself with his audience is endearing and so I stand behind, nay, celebrate my crush and say 'Thank you Craig Ferguson for entertaining us' sincerely, your fan, me.

Twitter is awesome

I know what many have to say about Twitter and to a certain extent its all true.

It took me a very long time to decide to join Twitter and it was finally Craig Ferguson that decided me (it's almost stalkerish how much I adore that man).

On to how I feel about Twitter now though.

I adore Twitter. Without Twitter I would never have known about HelloGiggles.com @HelloGiggles and all the marvelous people that make up the bloggers for this wonderful site. In the midst of all the blackness coming out of our governments capital, this is a wash of dusky pink :) (That's my favorite shade of pink). Their takes on everything from tv to clothes, food to excercise and everything else in between makes me, well, giggle. There are so many other people that I would never have gotten to know (and I don't really think that I know know them even now because I am not a stalker) their opinions and feelings and little glimpses into their everyday lives, pictures taken spur of the moment. So many people I thought I would enjoy, I haven't; so many people I was not sure of or would not have thought of before I saw some of their retweets from people I am currently following, I have enjoyed immensely. I have gotten to be, however briefly, on the fringe of so many different experiences. I have seen pictures and short clips of concerts and conventions that I am not able to afford attending at this time. I have seen brief behind the scene moments that I would not have seen if I had been there.

In however an amorphous way I have been able to participate in this gossamer spider web connection of lives I would not have known existed and would not have been possible without something like Twitter. So yeah, I think Twitter is awesome.

Doin' Stuff

I'm unemployed...ok not very light but I'm getting there.

Since I have nothing to do right now but look for jobs, I decided I would start volunteering. I actually wanted my 16 yr old daughter to get a summer job to learn some responsibility...ok and to earn money so I wouldn't have to keep giving her money all summer long. Turns out, though, that there aren't a lot of jobs for 16 yr olds either. So I thought volunteering at the animal shelter not far from us would teach her some responsibility if not earn her any money. I had to be there for the orientation and just felt like I needed to volunteer too. It's been a couple of weeks and I love it. I get to walk dogs and pet cats for a couple of hours a couple days a week. It's also a good way to sneak in some exercise which doesn't hurt at all as I need to lose some weight and feel healthier.
Which also got me thinking. I think everyone on welfare or unemployment should have to volunteer. It is a great way to keep up your self-esteem, make contacts, discover job opportunities you may never have considered, and simply make human connections; so you don't feel so alone, so isolated.
I absolutely love working with all those animals and it's surprising how many people stop me and ask me about the shelter and the animals while I am dog walking. It is so wonderful when an animal gets adopted and I know that animal. I have a little party in my head :)
If you haven't thought about it, this is a great thing to do and they always need more help. It you can't volunteer at an animal shelter for whatever reason, there is always homeless shelters or soup kitchens. The library in your area may even need volunteers for a reading day or something.
I have always been a recluse. I like being at home. I like being by myself. And I still do. But this is satisfying on a whole other level and fits in to the other changes I have been making to my life. Regular exercise, meaning several days a week; keeping a food journal so I can track and manage what I eat and portion control to keep my calories down (this is a huuuuuge pain but it is helping); volunteering; coming up on 2 years smoke free; and next...trying to start my own business (for some reason this is the hardest, scariest thing for me but this week I'm going to give it a shot and start the process of getting it set up).
So, doin' stuff...and doin' stuff...and doin' stuff
keeping it going, smiling a lot, remembering every day to giggle...oooh almost forgot here, started twitter a few weeks ago and my most fave discovery is hellogiggles.com co-founded by one of my fave actresses who is sooo adorable (lol) Zooey Deschanel (her sister Emily is also amazing)
so anyway...yeah... as one blog on hellogiggles.com says:
Point at yourself in the mirror and giggle hysterically every morning...its only roses for the day after that...
Now go chase your rainbow.

Ode to High Heels

They hurt so bad but feel so good.
Why is it that the one's we love hurt us so badly?
Although I do have to say that this movement toward platform heels is maaaahhhvelous. You can get height without walking on tiptoes like a ballerina. Its terrific. And they look amazing.
Sling-backs, peep-toes, open-toe, closed-toe, pumps, ankle boots, thigh boots they are all splendiforous.
Wedges, chunky heel, ice-pick heel, leather, cork, plastic, cloth, suede, rope, jute, wood, vinyl, shiny sparkly, matte, with bows, ruffles, butterflies, dragonflies, hello kitty, anything and everything I just love heels!
I always feel sexier in heels. I notice a little strut in my walk and a little sway to my step when I wear heels. Even in jeans and a tee I think women look a little hotter, a little leaner, a little longer. I feel a little like a movie star or a rock star depending on the type of heel and what else I'm wearing.
Ah, heels. Brown, black, pink, red all colors of the rainbow I love heels.
I remember as a child, clomping around in my mom's heels pretending to be all grown up or wearing my clear lucite Barbie heels. Now I'm all grown up and wearing my own heels with memories of my own daughter clomping around in my heels or her own Barbie heels.

What is a 'Grown Up'

When do you get to feel like a grown up?
I still find myself looking at high schoolers and feeling like I did in high school, they still seem so cool, put together and way more mature than I. I still feel myself deferring to other people who are 25 - 30 years old as if that is still older than me and I have to listen to them. Rather than the fact that I am now almost 40 and they should be listening to me.
I have to catch myself consciously and realize I don't have to defer to anyone anymore as I am a legal adult.
My daughter says she's more mature than I am and acts way more serious than I do.
I pay all my bills, hold down a job, don't dress like an aging tramp.
But I just don't take very much seriously. I believe you have to have fun, joke, laugh, dance in your living room, skip if you want to. But does that make me less of a grown up? Is that being immature?
I believe in social responsibility, helping others and holding our politicians accountable, which is obvious from my other blog, but that doesn't mean I have to go around with a thoughtful frown and my eyebrows drawn together in heavy thought does it? Or does it?
So, when do you get to feel like a grown up?